The Toad King's Halloween Special

If you’re a geek like me (and trust me, if you’re still reading this then you most undoubtedly are) then you’re pumped up and ready for the Halloween season. Screw summer, summer is dead to me. Halloween is undoubtedly the geekiest national holiday out there, think about it; hmm…I get to dress up in a costume, eat candy and watch horror movies, you’re sure society is ok with this? It is? Well kick a**!
I now share with you the ancient list of Halloween rules as handed down by the ancient Druid council…I’m just screwing with you, I just made these up. But anyway, here’s my list of Halloween rules to follow. And remember, you must follow them or there will be grave consequences as promised by the ancient Druid…no, I’m still screwing with you. Here’s the list;

1) Thou shall dress in costume for Halloween. If thou doesn’t, then thou is a Halloweenie.
2) Thou shall eat candy. Lots of candy. No apples. Just candy. And soda. And maybe some pizza and popcorn, but definitely no apples!
3) Thou shall watch Halloween-themed movies, especially ones of the Horror genre.
4) Thy household shall provide candy for the little ones. Any house that gets egged or tp’d that didn’t hand out candy had it coming.
5) Last and most importantly…Have Fun!!! If thou doesn’t have fun on Halloween than there is no hope for you and you’ll most likely burn in Hell (for not enjoying a Pagan holiday? Yep, you betcha.)


Peace out,
The Toad King