Recap of a perfect day
Woke up, drank a Diet Coke.
Played DDRMAX followed by Devil May Cry.
Drank two cups of Starbucks coffee.
Read 5 chapters of Zodiac by Neal Stephenson.
Ate 2 weird pastries.
Played 7 online games of Onslaught in Unreal 2004.
Listened to Tenacious D - Wonder Boy, Tribute
REM - It's The End Of The World As We Know It
Ben Folds Five - Underground
Rufus Wainwright - Oh What A World, April Fools
Cake - I Will Survive, Comfort Eagle
Rolling Stones - I Know Its Only Rock and Roll, Jumpin' Jack Flash, and Sympathy For The Devil.
While browsing the several different forums.
Found a list of stupid warning labels (See bottom of post*)
Watched
http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/
http://home.comcast.net/~alanweiss3/dwedit/flash/suzukisan.html
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/peanutbutter.shtml
http://www.animemusicvideos.org/members/members_videoinfo.php?v=10042
Installed
Spywareblaster
Played MYST from start to finish.
Ate half of a pizza.
Drank another Diet Coke.
Now listening to Rush - Xanadu.
Twas a good day.
*79 stupid warning labels
1 - "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
2 - "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
3 - "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
4 - "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
5 - "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
6 - "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.
7 - "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
8 - "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
9 - "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.
10 - "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.
11 - "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
12 - "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.
13 - "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
14 - "Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery.
15 - "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
16 - "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
17 - "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.
18 - "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
19 - "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."
20 - "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.
21 - "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
22 - "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.
23 - "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
24 - "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.
25 - "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
26 - "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.
27 - "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
28 - "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.
29 - "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
30 - "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.
31 - "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.
32 - "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.
33 - "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
34 - "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.
35 - "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
36 - "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.
37 - "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
38 - "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
39 - "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.
40 - "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.
41 - "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.
42 - "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.
43 - "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.
44 - "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.
45 - "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.
46 - "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
47 - "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.
48 - "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.
49 - "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
50 - "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.
51 - "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.
52 - "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.
53 - "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.
54 - "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
55 - "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.
56 - "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.
57 - "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.
58 - "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.
59 - "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.
60 - "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.
61 - "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
62 - "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.
63 - "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
64 - "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.
65 - "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.
66 - "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
67 - "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
68 - "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
69 - "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
70 - "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
71 - "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
72 - "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
73 - "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
74 - "Please remove before driving." -- On the back of a cardboard windshield (for keeping the car from getting too hot when parked).
75 - "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
76 - "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
77 - "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.
78 - "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
79 - "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.
